


Star Wars: The Force in Balance

by reylotrash12



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Enemies, Rey Needs A Hug, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:46:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23562535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylotrash12/pseuds/reylotrash12
Summary: First fanfic in 6 years so be nice please lmao, Basically .... *Post TLJ/my mature version of ep 9.? I plan to have diff villian though. Build on TLJ themes etc.After the Battle of Crait, Rey is training on Rimia with Finn (force sensitive) training with Leia.  Meanwhile Kylo Ren is the new Supreme Leader of the Last Order gathering in strength and resources on his newly stated capital planet of Zhohavia running the Knights of Ren and an eventual new intrepid apprentice. Rey cut their force connection and Kylo is angry.. heck they're both angry! But they miss each other, enough to try to get over each other. But will it work? Or just push them closer?? Find out ;)
Relationships: Armitage Hux & Kylo Ren, Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa & Rey, Poe Dameron & Rey, Rey & Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5
Collections: Star Wars





	1. But not to me...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say I'll be adding tags as I go... enjoy :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just the beginning !! I hope you guys kinda get the vibe I'm going for and now that I don't have school I'll be able to write more :)

_Rey_

_"_ **But not to me.** _"_

_"_ Join me. _"_ He stepped closer to me then, his eyes softening, a gloved palm outstretched.

_"Please."_ In almost a whisper stepping forward just so. That simple word held so much weight behind it, almost a beg for her to come to him.

And there we stood, after it all. His hand outstretched to mine with that look in his eye, _like he would go to the ends of the Earth to have me take it._ I knew he would - every fibre of my being could tell, read him like an open book that he would raise all the hell in the world, and that was exactly why I couldn’t.

"Don't do this."

  
I wanted so badly for it to be true, that he had renounced the dark side to come home. To come home to me, to Leia, to be the Ben Solo I knew he still could be. But as clear as day I saw what he wanted, to let the Jedi die, the Resistance, the light I had worked so hard to protect. He wanted to rule the galaxy, one that was never meant to be held. I so desperately had wanted us to bring balance to the force, to find a way. _Together._

He will never forgive me.

I reach for his grandfathers saber, willing with all my might to pull it towards me before he can bring it back to himself. The look on his face one of pure betrayal and I know if there was any light left in him I must have just snuffed it out.

The force fizzled and cracked around us, bringing a burning scent to my nose as that certain electricity started coming alive as we duelled over the weapon. It forced us backwards, straining with all my might I pulled against him. Until the pressure cracked, the saber bursting open in a flash sending us even further.

A brighter flash. And then black.

\-----------

I awoke to see Ben -no, Kylo- laying on his side across the room, the saber behind him broken into pieces. He looked so peaceful laying there, it hurt knowing we were now solely enemies. I lost the one person who understood what I felt, the burden of carrying on the fucked up Jedi religion. Picking up the pieces of Luke's saber I headed toward the hanger that I knew Chewie would be at with the _Falcon_. We could still help save the fleet if we hurried.

\-----------

_Lifting rocks._

Concentrating I felt the force flow through me, flexing it until it pulled each rock up and away from the opening.

Opening my eyes I saw Finn's and Poe's faces. Thank God.. Next thing Finn was crushing me into the tightest bear hug and I finally relaxed. For now, we were safe, and we could escape to live and fight another day.

Rushing everyone onto the Falcon, somehow we all fit… the losses we sustained from today were immeasurable. Too many dead heroes. Too many. I looked up toward the horizon, and there he was.

Pain and betrayal apparent on his face, I knew there was no going back from this. I closed the door ending our connection. He made his decisions.

_Now I've made mine._


	2. Treachery

**_Kylo/Ben_ **

She closed the door, and with it our connection while I'm left here, kneeling on the ground all alone. I gave her everything, offered her the galaxy, and she still refused me. I will burn the puny Resistance and everything it stood for to the ground for her treachery.

"Search every inch of this cave, if anything notable was left inform me immediately." I speak calmly to Hux behind me, knowing he dare not contradict me now, not while Snoke is freshly deceased. Then it hit me, I am the absolute power in the Order. Nothing will stop me now from achieving my goals. Not Snoke, nor the Resistance, soon to be snuffed out completely.

I am now uncontested. The thing I had been striving for all this time, to make my grandfather proud. Becoming the Supreme Leader. Now I have the utmost power to find Rey and make her regret her decision of leaving me. Soon enough.

_Her. How could she do it?_

I know Rey and the murderers and thieves she calls friends must be many parsecs away by now. I reached out in the force to feel her energy. Usually I can feel parts of her present in my mind, Snoke trained me well in blocking my thoughts from other Force users. Building my wall so thick was necessary to keep him out even, from _those_ parts of _her_ I couldn’t bare him to see. Rooting around the back corners of my mind I reached out to feel the slight warmth that centered at the nape of my neck. I'd grown almost used to feeling her in my head. With my thoughts, through the small cracks in the depths of my mind's armour. If I focused and if she wasn't very guarded I could see flashes. Simple sections of a lush green forest, the feeling of safety ever fleeting but present none the less. Feeling her emotions as they come and go, her pain, her joy. But now? I felt nothing. That door closing had such a finality… and now I felt so.. empty.. cold. More than the usual amount and that I guess must be saying something. It was as if the parts of her I let shine through to light up the dark caverns of myself were gone.

She didn’t just turn me down. She cut off our connection.

"Ready my ship." I know we will not find them here, and I need to leave this planet before I order them to burn it apart.

\-----------

**_4 Months Later._ **

**_Kylo/Ben_ **

****

I was concerned that with Snoke’s death more descension would have accumulated within the new Prime Order’s ranks. But surprisingly things have been going pretty smoothly. Thanks to the new Knights of Ren that Snoke had appointed to me mere weeks before his death. Twins Vela and Vikus, as well as Sadara and Rohir had been surprisingly helpful in keeping the troops in line- thank the gods. I was too distracted to deal with a mutiny.

Being a leader of one of the largest empires in the history of the galaxy no doubt had it's tough moments. But it was nothing a little force choke or lightsaber swing couldn't handle. For the most part. Politics were never what I was good at, but discussions are fascinatingly more productive when you answer to no one and have the galaxy at your feet.

Honestly, I had hoped Rey would have helped me with most of it. I didn’t really have a plan when I brought Luke's saber through Snoke's torso. I just knew I needed him dead and her by my side. I knew she would be much better at being a fairer leader, and I could be there by her side to help enforce. I needed her to balance me, the galaxy, all of it. I'd needed her in that moment to build something new, something I knew could be great and fair and she turned me down. I really did want to bring change to the galaxy. But no, she left, and didn’t even try to. Her mind was made up, and she closed our connection without a second glance. Cutting me off. That was so deliberate, surely meant to rub salt in the wound.

Not like I wasn't used to it. Like it hadn’t been happening all my life. I just thought I'd finally found someone who understood. Understood my pain because she had gone through it too. I'd seen it in her dreams, the pain inflicted from those wretched beings on Jakku, the loneliness, the cold nights that spanned a lifetime. I know it was cruel but I thought it could be the reason why she didn’t shut me out like every other person. He missed those flashes that would come to him in the night. Obviously more the good than the bad, and he was glad that those days were behind her. But the connection would always bring solid warmth to his stomach when he awoke. I knew she knew what our bond had meant to the both of us. The fact she threw it away filled me with a cool rage.

_Honestly Ren. You need to get your shit together and stop thinking about her if you're going to get your revenge. Let your emotions fill you - with rage, purpose and clarity, guiding you to your goal. Bringing her and her pathetic Resistance to their knees. Making her pay for her treachery._

_And oh, he could not wait to collect._

_\-----------_

**_Rey (Same 4 Months Later)_ **

"Can you hand me that Fryden driver?" I said to Finn as we were sitting on the top of the _Falcon_ at the Resistance base on Rimia. He handed it to me from his toolbelt, not hesitating. I was proud at how quickly he was picking up repairing the ships, since the Battle of Crait he had been pitching in with her after hours to help rebuild the fleet. "I'm almost done down here, you can go ahead and get some sleep Rey. You look exhausted." And it was true, things hadn’t been easy lately. Running the cause with limited funds and resources and morale being so low, everyone was looking to her as a symbol of hope. But I had honestly never felt so lost

**_"_** Thanks Finn. I owe you." I quipped as I pecked him lightly on the cheek, then climbed swiftly down the hull of the ship to drop to my feet lightly on the tarmac. Finn yelled out after me "Bring me caf in the morning then!" And I couldn’t help but chuckle stepping out of the repair hanger and towards my bunk. 

It was raining, as always I thought, pulling my hood over my head I ran across the quad. As I looked out at the planet I was dashing across I couldn’t help but feel grateful. I would take this over Jakku's punishing desert any day. Rimia was a lush planet filled with heavy drenched rainforests and tumultuous seas. It brought me a happiness that could only be filled by the rain on my face and thunder above. In those moments it was when the force felt so alive, electric. Pulsing. I had never felt anything like it. Until Ben.

  
And that _scared_ me. That even the act of them being close brought the force to act in such _violent_ ways.

I couldn’t help but scold myself for thinking about him as I walked through the door to my cell. But it was hard when damn near everything reminded me of him. I knew I was supposed to be focusing on training with Leia, and building my connection with the Force under her tutelage. Her training regime was brutal. "Honestly, I though Luke was an intense Master but Leia is just a whole other level of punishing" I muttered under my breath. Every day the General made me wake up before first light to meditate, followed by many hours of harsh training runs. It was a wonder I could stand up at all at the end of each day.

As I hopped in the shower to wash off the dirt and sweat from the day I focused on my Master's words. "Only in your weakest moments will you grow stronger Rey." I could recall that instruction from Leia clear as day, because boy did I feel weak now. Everyone expected me to be so strong, and I had been all her life. I couldn't fail them now, I could just feel it getting to me… ever since Crait things had been piling up…

I thought about Finn. How nice and understanding he was being, he was the closest thing to family I'd had since joining the Resistance. "Maybe I'll talk to Finn tomorrow…" stepping out of the shower and pulling my hair into a towel. I laid down on my bed… and slowly drifted to sleep.


	3. Emotion, yet peace.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is at the Rimia base with Finn and Rose, she meditates... See end of chapter for more notes!!

**_Rey_ **

I awoke to darkness, only some soft moonlight streaming in through the small window in my cell. Taking in my surroundings, the dresser to the left of my bed that was opposite the door, a small desk opposite the dresser holding my Jedi texts and saber repair kit. And finally, the door to my fresher beside the desk. Everything was the same pale blue and white of the Resistance, with orange curtains. I’m assuming from leftover pilot suit material. 

The resourcefulness of our base never fails to impress me. A small smile spread across my face, the simple room has become home in the last few months since the battle. And Rimia was a planet I had become increasingly attached to, I hoped the base could remain here for a long period. Circumstances permitting of course.

Finally rolling my body off my bed I grabbed my robes for the day and my saber. After a quick run through of the fresher I dresses quickly and started heading to the mess hall to grab breakfast before the day started. I still had meditation for half an hour before sunrise and then a meeting with Leia. Because it was still relatively early and no one had official duties for another hour and a half, the mess hall was relatively empty minus a few of the fellow early risers, among them Rose Tico. 

Almost immediately she yelled across the hall from the food area to me in the doorway “Rey good morning!! Any plans for today?” Strolling over I replied “You know the usual training.. Leia will probably have me run the courses again until I complete them all in one go.” Rose nodded knowingly as she picked up nutrition disks from the platter, I’d ruminated about their harshness to her many times before. "Did you hea-" Rose started but was interrupted by the loud yet calm tone of Finn's smooth voice.

"Morning babes.." The velvetiness of his words caught my breath in my throat for a second.

Finn said it in plural but was looking straight at me as spoke, hunching over slightly he sat down next to Rose. Something about that look, like it was trying to say more than what he could with his mouth to me. I looked at Rose and she looked at him, and to his eyes which were still locked on me. An expression I could only describe as disappointment crossed er face, she seemed to be uncomfortable. I looked down, focusing on my food, I didn’t have long to think before she stood up. "I have schematics to go over.. I'll catch you guys later?" She looked like she was about to say something else, but turned and didn’t leave enough time for us to protest. And just like that she was gone, just me and Finn.

"I know you didn't _promise_ to get me caf Rey, but I am offended I had to wait in line to get it." He said with a small almost sad smile, as if trying to diffuse the slight awkward tension that had taken over the table with Rose's abrupt exit. He was looking down innocently and playing with the handle of the mug he was sipping from. I guess he was right though, the hall was starting to fill up and at that point the coveted liquid would've had a cue. He kept fussing his hands, I could tell there was something bothering him. He didn’t normally have this deflective or guarded air around her. I knew Rose and his relationship had been different ever since Crait.. But he had never brought the specifics up to me outright and I didn't want to pry. Rose just blushed and stammered anytime I pressed…

"Finn.. please, if you want to talk to me, I'm here for you. Whatever it is." I looked at him seriously, furrowing my brows together and placing my hand on his to stop him from fussing any longer. "You're my family." Looking into his brown eyes I tried to search for answers. His mouth formed a small o and his eyebrows lifted slightly.

"Rey.. I-" He struggled to find words, eyes flitting around the mess hall. Finally, something like a wave of determination, or acceptance washed over him. Squeezing my hand and finally making eye contact, eyes softening slightly. "I don't think now is the time or place Rey. I want to talk to you.. Something is different for me now. I can't explain i-" He stopped and scrunched his brows at that idea, looking down quickly at our hands still touching. "Meet me at the Falcon later like usual. We can talk then." Eyes returning downwards once more before removing his hand. Getting up he strode across the hall towards the doors, dropping off his mug at the dump station before disappearing through the exit.

What in the Maker is going on with him? He looked genuinely concerned, almost frightened and he hadn't ever held my hand like that before. It was so delicate, normally he treated me with the same gruff affection he displayed towards Poe and the others but the expression on his face when he looked up at me just then shook me. I hoped it wasn't anything that they couldn’t' figure out together, I knew they would find a way. Noticing the hall beginning to fill much quicker as people started their days, I picked up my tray and started heading to the dump as I looked at my chrono.

Blast. 5 minutes to meditation, I sprinted to the exit to head to the meditation room in the upper level of the base.

The makeshift training center Leia and I had been using to work on techniques was actually just a rather large empty storage closet. Which meant that I didn't get to work on too many lightsaber variations inside, training outside was something I preferred. Anyhow, while the room was less suited for combat it was suited nicely for meditation. As I sat down crossing my legs, I began to focus on my surroundings. Straightening my back I breathed in and closed my eyes.

Reaching out I started to flex my connection to the Force in time with my breath. Letting my mind go blank I let the Force take control of my thoughts. I began to recite the mantras I had been trying so hard to connect with the past few months.

_'Emotion, yet peace.'_

I immediately thought about Finn again. Something was telling me there was deeper happenings than I suspected. But that revelation did not frighten me anymore.

_'Ignorance, yet knowledge.'_

I didn’t know what it was but I knew that if he depended on me enough to help him figure it out. I would do anything to aid Finn.

_'Passion, yet serenity._

I thought about how the people closest to me, Rose, Finn, Poe, Leia, Chewie and their love all gave me the strength to be courageous in the face of adversity.

_'Chaos, yet harmony.'_

I thought of all of us working together to accomplish rebuilding so much, in the aftermath of what seemed could be the end of everything.

_'Death, yet the force.'_

Reminding her of all the lost one's that push me and my comrades forward. I remember the peace they gave their lives to fight for. Finding strength to honor that sacrifice in the Force. Breathing here for what felt like hours even though it was surely minutes, I centered myself again. Focusing I tried to reach out further in the Force.

_'Be with me.'_ Another breath. 'Be with me.' I reached out farther still. 'Be with me.. '

And nothing. Opening my eyes I slowly lowered my legs until my feet hit the floor. Not that I was surprised. Leia told me before that to commune with Jedis past was no easy feat. I guess I just wasn't ready yet, which concerned me. I knew Leia was proud of my progression in training so far and I was giving it my all. I just felt like something could be gained from hearing from other Masters... Was that selfish of me to want? Even though my meditation had started well I was now becoming unfocused. I started to frown as I looked down at my chrono. 07:30. Leia should be here any second, and as if the thought summoned her the door to the training room swung open.

"Rey it's urgent, we have a possible spy within the First Order." My Master looked at me with such hope in her eyes and I couldn’t help but jump up immediately. "Walk with me to the strategy room. We're holding an emergency session."

So we got up and headed down the hall. All feelings of doubt washed away, for the first time in a while I was filled with a solid hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying it thus far! I just want to say thank you to the people who have commented letting me know tips and stuff you're all so helpful. I would love to hear your guy's thoughts so let me know :)


End file.
